Tuesday, August 16, 2011

What do you do when you are in the middle of 2 people you love who want two different things in life?

I just had this dilemma in my house. My mom bought 10 acres a few years back. We were all supposed to build one big house there. They were all excited and I was dreading every second of it and couldn't tell you why. We went a few times and looked at houses being built. They were all so gorgeous. We were so pumped about building a house. Well, the closer it got to paying out any kind of money for any test (soil, etc) I began to freak out a bit. See, my mom is a bit messy and my husband is a clean freak. I knew how this was going to turn out. Me in the middle of both of them fighting. I finally broke down and told my mom that I wasn't building a house with her. I could build on the same land if it perks for 2 or we can stay in the house we are in. I really couldn't tell you why I was balking on building. Mom seemed a bit shocked. But the more she thought about it the more she realized I was right. It would have been a huge mistake. We still have the land and we may or may not build. And it is ok. She said she's fine with moving or not moving. So, she has basically said, you were right and I'm glad you made the decision you did. Whew, it was a hard decision to make I tell you. But if you know it's going to cause discord in your family you have to make those hard decisions. Building a house puts almost as much stress on a marriage as a divorce. I couldn't deal with building and trying to please two people I was in the middle of. Would we love to build a house? Yes, we've never done that. Would we love to live on land in the country? Absolutely. Is it worth building when you know in your heart you should not do it? No, absolutely not. If you feel you are going to be stuck in between two people you have got to stand up for yourself and tell everyone, this is a bad idea! Best thing I ever did!

Have you been in a similar situation? What did you end up doing? How did it turn out?


  1. I often find myself in this predicament. Not quite building a house, but being the peace maker. Often wonder when I'll live the way I wish. Good that you refused to be stuck trying to please everyone and keep the peace!

  2. Good for you Dina! I am proud of you! Those are the two people I would not want to have to try to "go between". Thoase are the two that I most want to please.

  3. thank you ruthie! Being the person in between is so tough! But now that the decisions made it should be all right. :)We've got to please ourself too. You're right Anne.


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